Ventotron Part I

I need to write in here more, is what every post I've written has at the top.

I wrote a few since I moved to Texas, but theyre way to personal to put online. So, as drafts they will remain. For no real good reason. I wont read them again. I just needed to exorcise some words.

Well. Shit.

Where to begin?

I finally had enough shit from the Bill. After a week of being sick, and then another week of panic attacks, I just stopped going in. I would wake up, feel like shit, throw up, start to go to work, have a crippling anxiety attack, and then just lay in bed. I'm not very good at shulking out of duties. Whenever I called out I just laid in bed, worrying. I don't like to miss work, no matter how much I say I'd rather be somewhere else. Its against my persona.

I mean I've been working since I was 14. My first job was at a card shop, a few blocks away from my house in Mesa. I didnt work for cash. I worked for Magic cards. Yeahhh. Pimp, right? I would go into the store, and he had these gigantic fucking boxes of MTG cards. The owner, Owen, had no idea what to do with them. So after a few weeks of coming in and scouring through the cards, re-ordering them, he offered to pay me to do it. So I would take the huge card bins home, and sort them out by color and */*. I stole 2 cards, and I felt terrible about it. Owen didnt give a shit though, hah. I still miss those cards. 'Order of the Ebon Hand' and 'Leviathan' [10/10 Nyucka!]. Awesome card art.

After that, I did bootlegging until I was legal age to work. [15.7 yo] I had Napster, a few cd burners and a burning passion for music. So I would take requests for foreign music, burn the CDs and charge 5$ for the disk. I did it for anime, too. I miss those days. Being in 8th grade with a fat wad of cash was pretty awesome.

My next job was working media at best buy. As soon as I hit 15.7 I applied there. My mom worked there, and I loved electronics so I had to get a job there. The discount! Ohhh, the discount. I didnt have a car or any bills, so I just turned around each paycheck and put them right back into Best Buy. Man, I used to have HUNDREDS of movies and CDs. And I was awesome at my job. Someone would come back to my section and say something like :

"I want that movie with the guy from Alien where his kid gets killed!"
"Ah, yes. Pumpkinhead starring Lance Henrikson. Fantastic choice."

And I met a lot of awesome people. I got fed up when I repeatedly got yelled at for not trying to get people to buy Xbox's with their Michael Bolton CDs, and told them to shove it. Now that I think about it, I never got my last paycheck from there.. Damn.

After that I went to Apollo Industries, Best Buys shipping company, working with my mom. She worked dispatch, and I was a trucker's helper. It was my job to get the appliances off the truck and into the houses. Which meant me scrambling to cut open a refrigerator box and then taking it up flights of stairs on my back. I was a lot stronger then. Constantly worked out. I need to start that again.. It was cool. I met some celebrities that lived in Az. But the dude I worked with was a dick, and I hate 14 hour days. So I said fuck that.

And moved on to 2wire. My first legally paying tech job. I spent 2 years doing DSL setups, modem/router troubleshooting, being a runner, and a trainer. I dont quite remember what happened there. But I left. Then I took a year off of work. I went to training classes for a new job every few weeks to pay my way. I also moved out of my moms house when I was 17. Moved to tempe, lived off campus. Speaking of which I wonder if my credit card debt was wiped clear yet.. I need to pay that..

After that i got a job at CCBill. Doing porn tech support on graveyard shift. Easy job. After 6 months, I got promoted to supervisor. Even easier job. I did that for about 4 years, then got tired with how easy it was. It was me, and 3 other peeps. Very low call volume, barely any responsibility. Dream job for most. All I did was smoke j's and watch movies, occasionally falling asleep. Then i got a bug up my ass after too long and decided to go back serverside. So I applied for a hosting technician for Cavecreek Hosting, another subsidiary for the same company that owned CCBill. That was a terrible god damned year. I've never been more stressed in my life. Apparently, no one else has either, because no one is still there. It added the most impressive piece to my resume, though. I helped build the PhoenixNAP from the ground up. Which should assure me a tech job anywhere, should I ever want one again.

After a year of thinning hair, throwing up blood, sleep deprevation and 2 dead bodies, I said fuck this noise, and tried to go back to CCBill. They had a supervisor opening so I figured I had the experiance, so why not. But, not. My boss was a dick and made me go back to entry level. So I did that and climbed it for a year until the beginning of my story. I couldnt take it anymore. Lifes not worth living if your not happy. And I was not happy. At all. I've never been so miserable. So I quit. Then i got kicked out of my house because my roommates were getting married. Kicking us out 3 months earlier than we were supposed to be. So, I did the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life up to that point [other than first kiss], and asked my dad if I could live with him temporarily. He said sure, and that he would even help me move out there.

So, in mid september, I packed up all my shit, threw it in the back of my truck, and headed out east. When I got here, I was lucky enough to have a job waiting for me at a 3rd party maintenence provider with my da. I've mostly been paying off previous debts, and working. Nothin' but. Trying to find friends, and i've found a whopping 3 since I got here.

Its only transitional. I know what I want to do with my life. Ive run away from my career a few times, but I know I'll end up going back. I have the knowhow, and the money is good, and can provide an easier life. So I know I'll be back. I just need to find out where..

I had it narrowed down to a few places, but I'm still not sure where to yet. My main plan is a bit dilluted, but, its better than no plan.

01) Save up enough money to move and live comfortably for a few months or until I secure a job.
02) Work. Probably a tech job for the $$$.
03) Schooling. Still dont know if i want to go for psychology/psychiatry, or phsyics. or writing.
04) Continue to work on my videogame bibles until they are complete, and get them bitches sold.
05) Keep working on my writing until I get published. Main goal is to get paid for doing what i love.
06) Profit.

00) use my blogs a fuck-ton more. So I can get out the shit that rattles around. Loose pieces that are drivin me crazy.

So here I sit, at work. Its slow, so I can get some writing done. Things are actually going pretty well again. There are hiccups, but, there always will be. I fell in love with a girl, and she seems to like me just fine. Another improvement. But thats a much longer, more tragically romantic story. Perhaps my next post. Nothing I cant handle.
I'm a man.

I got my dungarees.

My black tank top.

A truck. A beer.

Just missin a dog and a guitar.

"well i dont lose my composure in a high speed chase
my friends think Im ugly
but i got a masculine face"